Phototropism

Being around my students these last few weeks as we've been observing all of the different critters in our room (isopods, beetles, crayfish, goldfish, ghost shrimp, lizards, caterpillars) has made me more acutely aware of other living things around me.

I have a black thumb and one of the things that made me nervous about living alone was having to take care of my own plants; that was always my roommate's job. I forget they're there because they can't talk to me, tell me when they need something like water or sunlight. I'm realizing now that plants do respond, just not with words. It sounds nerdy but I have a favorite plant, of course I don't know what it's real name is. But I am amazed with how well it's growing these last 6 months with my attention. I'm discovering how capable I can be if I only try and let God push me into situations that are just a little uncomfortable.

There's this one stem of the plant that, more than the others, always grows toward the sunlight. I'll rotate it every once in awhile but it always finds a way to direct its leaf at the window. Right now it is literally turned 90 degrees; I've never seen anything like it. This got me thinking about two stories in the Bible, when Zacchaeus climbs the sycamore tree (Luke 19) and when four men removed the roof and lowered their paralyzed friend through (Mark 2), in both situations to see Jesus. These men were in such need of healing that they did whatever it takes, fought through the crowd, to get to Him.

I cannot say the same thing about myself lately. I've allowed myself to be more preoccupied with everything else around me, school, work, friendships, family, men, my appearance, and just check in with God a little bit in the morning and at night to get me through the day. It took a really awful evening last week for me to realize just how desperate I should be for Him all day, everyday, that I truly cannot live without Him. I've been blessed with so much that I allow all of that to be a distraction from what's most important, who it was that provided those blessings in the first place.

This week has been better. It's Holy Week, the most important week in the Church Year, and I've really tried to use this time to rededicate myself to personal sacrifice and meditation on Christ. And I've felt more at peace as a result. I'm trying to be like my plant and keep my face towards the Son.